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By Ashley Ford
For young people who identify as LGBTQ+, the transition from living with parents and guardians to renting first apartments or moving onto college campuses, can be especially freeing.
The opportunity to express oneself, without shame, out from under the watchful eye of childhood authority figures, can quickly transition from fresh excitement to comfortable familiarity.
But with long winter breaks looming, many LGBTQ+ young people will likely soon be spending more time at home, in communities where they were raised, and in some cases, suppressed.
Some will struggle with how to present a complete version of who they’ve become since their family members last saw them. And that’s only in those situations where a person feels relatively safe sharing who they are with loved ones.
Others, a group that’s slightly larger in number, prepare to return to non-affirming families and communities, which can exacerbate negative mental and emotional health outcomes.
Chris Paulson, CEO of Indiana Youth Group, an organization committed to creating safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults across the state, said the shift from school and campus to home can be emotionally wrought.
“If someone comes out as ([LGBTQ+) on campus, going back home for holidays can be like going back into the closet,” Paulson said.
According to Indiana University’s Public Policy Institute, at least 43,000 LGBTQ+ youth reside in Indiana. And according to The Trevor Project, 65% reported experiencing frequent symptoms of anxiety, while 53% experienced symptoms of depression.
“Winter is always the toughest time,” said Paulson.
The way darkness, grayness and the cold lay heavy on an over-burdened young person’s mind would be bad enough. But, Paulson said, because of so much political uncertainty, “this winter, it’s worse. Our team had to write mental health plans for all 10 young people in our housing program.”
Live your truth, if you can
More than half — 57% — of LGBTQ+ youth in Indiana reported that recent politics negatively impacted their well-being, according to a survey by The Trevor Project.
Paulson provided some tips for young people who may find themselves temporarily transitioning back to a space where they don’t feel comfortable living their authentic self. But she started with a very clear directive.
Hiding one’s identity can be harmful to a young person’s overall well-being, but necessary for their survival. That’s a key consideration in a state where 43% of LGBTQ+ youth seriously considered suicide in the last year, and 12% made an attempt, according to The Trevor Project.
“It’s code-switching (modifying personality or behavior depending on surroundings) at its worst,” Paulson said, and often more painful for the young person than anyone, including the individual doing the switching, realizes. Though, in many cases, they don’t have access to another option.
“This season, for many kids, is a reminder that they’ve been rejected by their families. It’s tough to bounce back from that.”
In addition to “living your truth,” Paulson suggests those making the trek back home search for consistent or emergency support within their communities. At times, that can include extended members of what is generally a young person’s non-affirming family.
“Everybody’s got a queer relative,” she said. “But even if you don’t, even one other safe, supportive, and trusted adult can be a lifeline.”
Have a backup plan to stay safe
But if being authentic simply isn’t an option, Paulson provided other ways to stay safe.
She said a backup plan could look like having a place to stay at night if things become unbearable at the family home. Or it can be a ride arranged to get a young person back to college, if parents decide to withdraw support around cars and transportation.
She encourages young people who might be returning home for break, to write down essential phone numbers for friends or safe adults, in case a cell phone gets confiscated by someone in the home. That connection could also come via social media platforms.
Food is another way some parents have tried to control young queer people, Paulson said. So having granola bars or other stable food available is smart. A young person in this situation should also be sure to make copies of a personal ID or drivers license and Social Security cards.
“A lot of times parents will withhold these items to make sure the young person stays at home, or has more trouble when they do escape an unsafe situation. It’s ridiculous young people must worry about such things but here we are,” Paulson said.
She also suggests looking up any local opportunities to introduce yourself to, and cultivate relationships with, like-minded peers. She said to make note of local businesses and organizations that identify as safe zones, and use online resources as much as needed.
Data from Hopelab, a nonprofit organization focused on improving young people’s mental health, reports that only 13% of LGBTQ+ youth in rural environments perceive broad support from the community in which they live. While 99% feel it from their peers online, they also wish they had more real-time, in-person connections.
Paulson offered a solution: “Come to IYG and hang out with us.”
But if that isn’t possible due to its Indianapolis location, IYG’s website has information for LGBTQ+ youth looking for assistance with legal issues, healthcare and homelessness.
The Trevor Project also has an online library for young people who may want to prepare themselves for an extended stay at home. And Q Chat Space provides more than two dozen resources for young people seeking to build community.
“I know you feel like an adult,” said Paulson, “but everybody needs support.”
Ashley Ford is a Free Press Indiana reporter focused on issues affecting women and girls across Indiana. You can reach her at ashley.ford@freepressindiana.org.
This article first appeared on Mirror Indy and is republished here under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
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